


Bee Gees, Not So Much

by ear_hats



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Episode: s02e01 A Scandal in Belgravia, Ficlet, It was Seb all along, M/M, Stayin' Alive, ah ah ah ah stayin' alive, implied everything, jim has ringtone troubles, that pool scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-21
Updated: 2012-06-21
Packaged: 2017-11-08 06:38:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/440247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ear_hats/pseuds/ear_hats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The mystery of that ringtone is solved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bee Gees, Not So Much

**Author's Note:**

> This idea would not let me be so I wrote it instead of revising - thus continuing my complete love for all things mormor :)  
> Beta-d by FezzesRCool25 on FF.net.

He was a dead man now. That much was plainly obvious.

It had been an attempt at a joke, a _really, really_ , good joke. Jim got bored far too easily in 10 hours, or however long he gave that Sherlock to play his “game”. And when he got bored he got grumpy and sniped at Seb with a wonderful range of adjectives Sebastian’s mother would probably have another heart attack upon hearing. Often he’d ask rhetorical questions. Usually Jim’s questions were rhetorical unless you wanted snapping at. Or a conveniently placed bullet. Your choice. 

“No! DOOFUS!” Jim had all but screamed when Seb had asked (maybe a little too dryly) if his new plaything had solved his puzzle yet. “ _You_ couldn’t figure out anything even remotely abstruse with that sluggish little mind of yours! Why don’t you run off and shoot someone useful?” 

So, under the guise of pouring more tea, Seb had simply pocketed his Boss’ phone and prayed it didn’t go off until he was able to get out of earshot. 

*** 

“I put my sluggish little mind to use earlier.” Seb’s voice was too loud in the front of the van and did little to dissipate the tense fog that had fallen on them since Jim had got Holmes’ text and his little pet had been zipped up into his semtex. Watson couldn’t be heard rolling about in the back of the van; he had enough sense to stay still then. Jim’s dark eyes flickered to him and Sebastian didn’t have to take his eyes off the road to know his lip had curled up in disdain. 

“Do you know the plan?” 

“I will be echoing the plan in my dreams, Boss.” 

*** 

Then it happened. 

An almost nauseating mix of ‘oh _SHIT_ ’ and the battle not to erupt in hysterics threatened to burst out of him in something no doubt high pitched and horrible. Seb held his breath to avoid the sound and wiped away the tears forming in the corners of his eyes as Jim’s shoulders slowly slumped and he took on the demeanour of a man who had been thoroughly beaten. 

Not bad for a ‘sluggish little mind’. 

God, this was even better than the time Sebastian found Legally Blonde mixed in with Jim’s DVD collection and tried to get him to bend and snap for weeks. (After which it was clear Seb had bent Jim too far, and he snapped alright.) 

“Do you mind if I get that?” Ah, poor Jim. He’d wanted so badly to be commanding and impressive. Bee Gees, not so much. 

“Oh no, please. You’ve got the rest of your life.” Holmes was obviously supposed to sound threatening. Seb felt a little surge of anger, this Sherlock Holmes really didn’t have a clue what he was getting into, any slight movement of his hand on that trigger and there’d be a bullet through his brain faster than you could say gockle o geer. And Seb had seen the little exchange between him and his doctor. People don’t talk for no reason, Watson. If he didn’t know better, Sherlock Holmes’ greatest weakness had just been handed to them on a plate. What was it General Shan had said? “Sherlock Holmes’ pretty assistant.” She was fun to dispose of, he didn’t have any doubt Watson would be too. 

The music stopped and Seb was able to refocus on what was happening below. 

“Hello?” 

Oh, Adler. Personally, Seb didn’t like the way she looked at them both, as if she had plans for them that weren’t strictly business. At least she might distract Jim for firing him, but before that possibly commanding him to turn his gun on himself, the moment they got back to the van. No, as soon as they got back to the flat. Jim wouldn’t want to drive. 

At least, if nothing else, Holmes and Watson would remember that Moriarty had a brilliant ringtone. 

He was still, so dead.


End file.
